A criminal after only 12 days

Our dog has a criminal record. It’s been logged on a database. And I, as the mother of a criminal, am also on a database … not to mention $100 poorer.

Before we go any further with this story, let’s just pause for a minute to consider the Jack Russell terrier. What is the point of Jack Russell terriers? Who was Jack Russell and what did he do to have these wee shits named after him? They’re ugly, they’re yappy, they’re incredibly territorial and they have serious dominance issues. I’ve never met one that didn’t want to hump some part of my anatomy and they’re always owned by people who indulge them utterly and think it’s cute to watch as their foul little genitalia rub feverishly up and down on my sleeve/shin/head.

I can’t stand them. I’m sorry if you’ve read this blog dedicatedly for years and have just decided never to come back because your Jack Russell is your best friend and I’ve wounded you irrevocably but hey, it would never have worked out between us anyway. Not once I’d learned that you let one of the DEVIL’S COOTIES sleep on your bed.

Fans of these dogs tend to use flattering adjectives to describe their pets’ vile temperaments, such as ”plucky”, “fearless” and “spirited” (all used here) or “tough” and “intelligent” (used here). That’s fine. Continue to do so, owners of Jack Russell terriers. The rest of us know better.

I should’ve known that the vehicle for poor Buddy’s downfall would come in the form of not one, but three Jack Russells. We were at the park. Buddy got into an altercation with one of them. The owner panicked and tried to separate them. Buddy’s teeth grazed one of her fingers. She scooped up her dog, Buddy jumped up to reach it and bit one of its back legs. This left a single small, pink mark. No blood. The owner’s finger was bleeding.

The JRTs weren’t really to blame. The fault was mine. I had let Buddy off the leash. This was incredibly stupid, given that we’d only had him nine days and he was a four-and-a-half-month-old puppy who still didn’t really know his own name.

The incident was reported to the ranger, who visited us last week. I was let off with the fine and the warning because the couple who owned the JRTs didn’t want to take the matter further. I’d paid their vet bill and shown sufficient empathy with their dog’s plight to convince the woman that I was genuinely sorry. It was also apparent to the ranger that Buddy is a baby and none of it would’ve happened if I’d kept him on the lead.

Don’t get me wrong, I still hate Jack Russell terriers but I’ve learnt my lesson. I’m training Buddy according to the principles explained in this book and it’s working very well. I keep him on the lead in public. And every now and then our eyes meet in a kind of understanding that only partners in crime can recognise and share.

 In other news: we’re moving house tomorrow and won’t have landline or internet access until 12 December (says Telstra)  … so that’s it from me in the meantime. Probably.

Take care til next.

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