Trivial tales from someone who’s always in it
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Five kinds of urges

Urge #1: The Urge to Laugh
Doctor:
Yes, you’re definitely suffering from depression. There’s some medication that I think will be very effective in your case. I’ll write you a presciption.
Niki: But I don’t want any dr–
Doctor: The medication will help. The side effects aren’t too bad. There might be some nausea … oh, and sleeping problems. You could gain a bit of weight … and lose all interest in sex.
Niki: Oh, is that all?
Doctor: So, tell me: have you been having any disturbing thoughts?
Niki: You mean am I suicidal?
Doctor: Yes.
Niki: Not until thirty seconds ago.

Urge #2: The Urge to Pee
Six Million Dollar Hound: (at 11:10pm) *whine*
Six Million Dollar Hound: (at 12:15am) *whine*
Six Million Dollar Hound: (at 12:45am) *whine*

Urge #3: The Urge to Commit Violent Acts
Six Million Dollar Hound:
(at 3:00am) *whine*
Niki: (throwing off the bedclothes) Right, that’s it. I’m fucking killing him.

Urge #4: The Urge to Dance
Acquaintance:
I fly out to Ireland next week. Give me your phone number and I’ll try to get you those interviews with Tom Waits and Luka Bloom that we’d talked about.

Urge #5: The Urge to Jump on a Plane Home to Christchurch, New Zealand, Right NOW
Dowager Empress (Mother):
It’s supposed to snow again tonight.

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3 comments

1 Ken (7 comments.) { 07.28.08 at 6:15 am }

I was just in Christchurch last week, and I thought about you! It didn’t snow while I was there, though.

2 Niki { 07.28.08 at 6:42 pm }

I hope you got in some skiing while you were there. It’s the only thing that makes the cold worthwhile!

3 rat (pez) { 10.22.08 at 5:46 pm }

hi Niki, hope the trip is goin well. spring is here. avagoodone
oh, and for when you’re next on the west coast, my sister has moved to broome. gonna have to visit one of these days

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